Special Times to Talk

Starting when my children were younger, my husband would take each of our children to a short breakfast or lunch once a month to connect with them, and I would take each of our children to a short breakfast or lunch once a month to connect with them (separately).  It became special times that each of our kids looked forward to.  We'd help them make goals, talk to them about what was going on in their lives, and just have a great hour together alone.  

I also made sure I had special times to talk with my kids regularly.  Whether I would take them out for a shake, a yogurt, or just tuck each of them in to bed at night and talk while I scratched their backs, I made sure we made the most of our opportunities to talk to each other.

Since we started these things while they were very young, it became very natural for us to talk about deep things with each other as they grew older.  They knew they could trust us with the secrets, their dreams, their shortcomings, and things they struggled with.  Make sure the "talking time" is a set activity with the purpose of talking...

Challenge:  Start making a special time to talk with your child independently of other siblings. Just announce that you're going to go out for a milkshake and just talk, or to go to breakfast so you can talk, and find out about the things that are important in your child's life and talk through them.  Make a big deal about the "talking" part.  Keep it going, and watch the conversations get more and more meaningful as time goes by!